Changes

I am currently doing Xanthe and Kim's reflections of you class which is really interesting, it's all about behind the scenes of your blog, how to make your pages stand out, design etc. This week we are looking at  layout, I have always posted my text and pictures in the middle but it should be to the left hand margin which now makes sense as I was taught that your eye looks at photographs from left to right. I have now changed my layout and added a very important tag line below my blog name which lets the reader know exactly what your blog is about. I also need to update my 'about' page and Xanthe and Kim also suggest telling readers about yourself and this is where it gets tricky....I am a very private person, very shy and insecure and I don't think anyone wants to read about my life as I think it must seem rather dull and mundane, I shoot pictures of everyday life but I don't know what to write about so tend to just leave it to one line so today I thought I would open up my heart a little bit so here goes...
Yesterday was speech day at my son's school, it is a very traditional school so they wear formal dress and national dress if relevant. It was also his final day at school forever, my baby, my youngest, has finished. Yesterday was the end of an era for me as a parent and now as I enter the next phase, the 'empty nest syndrome' or whatever cliche is current, I feel such a mixture of emotions. I am proud of my son for all he has achieved, I am so sad for all that has ended. I spent last night thinking of the last eighteen years, last reports, last back to schools, end of terms, learning to read, ghastly mums at the school gate who make you feel so inadequate, each is a memory going back to when he was three years old and first began this journey. How do you move on? how do you redefine your role? how do you renegotiate your place in the world, adjust your sense of self? this next stage seems so different from when we first became parents. I  know everyone tells you that you can move on and start new things but is it that easy? if it happened to you how did you feel? was it easy? how did you make the changes?

27 comments:

  1. This is going to be my eldest son in a few months, time does go so quickly doesn't it?
    I still have 2 more to go, so can't really imagine what you are feeling. I'm sure you'll work it out!

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  2. My babies have already fled the nest but I'm so lucky (for now) that they live in the same town as me but I don't know for how much longer they are both making noises about leaving and this leaves a hollow feeling in my stomach so I know how you feel. It's not easy moving on but it has to be baby steps doesn't it ?
    I love you new look and well done for putting up a photo I have as well but it's deliberately blurred lol x

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  3. Interesting about putting photos on the left. I might try that - thanks for the tip. Can't help with your problem though as I don't have children.

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  4. I ask myself all those Questions also when my youngest son left us empty nesters. Life will take you on a new wonderful path, it has for me. I call it our time now. (My husband and I). Our children also live close to us and we speak everyday. I am getting use to having Grand-puppies to babysit often, i don't mind it keeps us busy. I like your new look. Lynne

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  5. Hi Justine!
    I was happy to see your name on the BTS list --someone I knew!! : )

    I like the redesign and your tagline -- they are much harder to come up with than I thought!

    I haven't shared too much either -- I think I'm pretty private and introverted as well. And I have the same qualms about my mundane life. I'm mostly home with the kids all day. Not terribly exciting, you know?

    My oldest will be a senior next year -- his last year before he leaves for college -- and I think they same thing, where on earth did the time go? And I still have a baby nursing on my lap. I think we spend so much time and energy on others it's hard to find where we fit in.

    See you "in class"

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  6. Mornin' Justine, oh it is never easy having a child grow into a young adult. The thing is that they don't realize they are not really all grown up just yet and have so much to learn, though most of them already think they know everything. My reccommendation is to just keep on doing what you;ve always done until it feels right to drop a routine or add something to enhance what you already do. We understand how major life changes can cause stress and illness but do we really understand how they can also be freeing in ways we just do not see at the moment of impact. The one thing you have on your side, most would say, is time but I think time is an unreliable friend. It teases us with hopes and dreams then has the power to crush us with an unexpected turn of events. The only true freeing way to live is in the moment we have been given now. God bless!

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  7. I have so much to do with my blog, good for you in making the changes. I also feel like you on the About You. That is where I run into big trouble talking about myself or even my images on my blog. But then Xanthe, mentioned that comments wasn't the reason she had a blog. I have always said this to myself (my blog is for me mostly) and if someone else likes what they see then that is the icing on the cake. I do love getting comments and having followers but that isn't the main reason I have a blog.

    I just think we all need to be true to ourselves and know ourselves. Looks like we are finding our way and am really enjoying the class.

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  8. Hi Justine!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your very very kind words! Most appreciated!!

    I think you are a brave person, othervise you haven't written about your life as you do! Thank you for sharing.
    And your blog are very beautiful, nice design.
    Isn't this a marvellous class?? I'm totally thrilled about all this....
    I am so happy to getting to know you! (sorry for poor english.....)
    See you in class and on Flickr!!
    Have a great day!
    Marie

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  9. Btw, I forgot...

    Do you know how to follow a blog in another domain? (I want to follow you!!)

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  10. First thought here, some images (like this one) need no words. They just "are," and they are wonderful.

    On "Empty Nesting..."
    I seriously envied the parents who seemed so excited at the thought of the last child leaving. I surely was not one of those parents. For 18 or more years, you do your best to teach them to be independent, and then the time comes! For me, this was definitely not easy. Not only do I love my kids as my kids, but I love them as people too. Fun to be around, etc. When my son left for school out of state last year, it was a very tough time for me. He is now home for the summer, and it will be tough again for me when he leaves in late August. Different, because I know he loves the school he attends, but the missing him part is still there.

    You do move on, but it takes time (at least for me). Don't think you are alone. :-)

    xo.

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  11. Wonderful capture of emotion in your photo, Justine! This is a tough transition you're gong through -- I found it very difficult when our younger daughter left for college. I couldn't walk by her room without getting teary for months. My teaching job kept me busy and I added some volunteer activities too. I looked forward to school vacations when both girls were home , and my husband and I planned more trips together. That helped. But change is hard. We just have to accept its inevitability, and (as Carol says) live in the moment.

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  12. I will weigh in here. I found when my girls left , my husband and I started focusing on each other again. That was excellent for our relationship. I will also say that when my youngest left I had spent two year standing around thinking I should enjoy every moment. When she left, I felt okay you did your best, now get on with you.

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  13. All great advice in the comments here... helping me to get through the days with my 3-year-old!

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  14. I really identify about what you said about not wanting to give too much away about yourself. I often don't find the words to put thoughts into words anyway. Seems it will be a good course. I'm doing the Beyond Layers course which is excellent.

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  15. I'm so sorry you're feeling a little blue right now. It will get better with time as you learn to fill your time in other ways. Great pic! Congrats to your son. You'll be happier once you see him conquering the world. :)

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  16. This brought tears to my eyes, remembering my daughter's last day of high school last year. She is an only child, so I was done with it all in one fell swoop. Definitely a very challenging time, and I was forced to become comfortable with myself, and learn more about myself. Also a time of readjustment for my husband and myself, but that has gone very well.

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  17. First of all, I would love to hear about your life. Just the small glimpse into your world here gave me a broad picture of what you must be like.... your writing is beautiful. I love this photo and I know your son will as well years from now. He'll look back on that picture and be instantly transported to being 18 and young and on the brink of self discovery.

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  18. Great post Justine, my middle child finishes school in September!

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  19. Great post! I have also been inspired by BTS to make a new banner and change the whole look of my blog. I enjoyed watching the TEDS video on introverts as well...think I might fit into that category!

    I am kind of at the same stage of parenting as you, although my youngest still has 18 months left of school...but my eldest took off overseas today - his first trip away by himself! I am excited for him but also beside myself with nervousness. It's only from Australia to NZ so at least it's not half a world away and he does have lots of relatives over there but I still can't believe my baby boy is old enough to do this without me!!! It's going to take some getting used to.

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  20. Congratulations to your son! You have a lovely blog.

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  21. sounds like you are getting a lot out of that class. your blog looks great. and i love seeing you write a little more!

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  22. Hi Justine. i am glad we are in Behind the Scenes together...i just love meeting up with familiar faces in this blogland. I love your post, it really hit home with me! I have a son who went to a similar school here in the states. That last day was hard. But believe it or not, he has just turned 30 and this week, he just finished college. He has his bachelors degree, his doctorate degree and now just completed his Ph.D. in spinal cord injury research!! So looking back, i would never had guessed that his school life would contine this far! You just never know what lies ahead!

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  23. Hi Justine. I thought of my "mom" job/life as being an Official Kid Launcher. I loved launching our kids and watching/wondering what they will do with their lives. What will they become? Who will they meet? Where will they live (and when can I visit?)? It is kinda weird once they step out of your house. I have no advice, really. We are all so different. Listen to your heart, but don't get heart-sick. Find some new steps to take. All the best, as you launch your son and yourself!

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  24. Hi Justine. That was a really beautiful and heartfelt post. Thank you for opening up and putting yourself out there. I am also in the Behind the Scenes class. Bravo. A lot of people want to hear how you are and about your life. I am not in the empty nest stage of my life yet as my oldest is 12 and my youngest is only just turned 7. I can't imagine that it is easy to let go and redefine yourself. With time, and work you will find your way. I wish you all the luck in the world and would love to know how you are doing.

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  25. It didn't hit me until this year when my son moved out and had a baby, and really didn't even hit me until a couple months after the baby was born. I kept wondering why I felt so "blah" and then realized I had empty nest syndrome. I am finding that I enjoy having some time to myself with less responsibility, but I still miss him being there every day.

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  26. so loving your blog and your photos are fabulous! (BTS)
    Roxi

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  27. Interesting tips on blogging...definitely something to think about!!!

    Writing about one's self is never easy...at least not to me...you did so beautifully...and quite eloquently!!! For me, I regret that I never did have my own children to miss when they grew up...I miss the closeness and the feeling of generativity that parents have with their children. I'm a step parent and grand parent...but not a parent... I married my husband late in life when his kids were already adults...and became a step mom and grandma at the same time! I treasure the opportunity to share in the wonderful world of grandkids!!!

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