Everything changes


Three weeks ago a storm blew in, it just burst through the door and turned our world upside down, that storm went by the name of cancer.
Michael was diagnosed with bowel cancer three weeks ago. On Wednesday after a five hour operation the wonderful surgeon said he had got everything out and we now just wait for pathology to see if he needs chemo. So much has changed because of this diagnosis, the children are no longer children, they have grown up overnight and turned into adults, my beautiful dogs have been rehomed and the love of my life is silent in a hospital ward coming to terms with what has happened. The good news is that they caught it early, he is young and fit and healthy to be struck by this and he will recover.
I have cried so much, found comfort in so many people and continued to find comfort in my camera, I have used it as a tool in which to see the beauty outside the situation we have found ourselves in and have continued to find a photo a day on instagram. I take pictures in the hospital in the knowledge that I will put them away in a drawer once this is over. I carry my camera with me every day to the hospital and even if I don't take it out, I find myself looking for colours, patterns and things to photograph to keep my mind from dwelling.
I know it will get better, I realise that blogs really are a good release, I apologise to anyone who doesn't want to read about our troubles and would rather read about pretty things.





34 comments:

  1. My my dear Justine, I wish I had known not that I could have done anything to have helped but just to have kept you in my thoughts maybe. I don't know just because.

    I am though so glad to hear that he will recover from this and that they caught it early. I did not have that good news for my husband 12 years ago so I kinda know the trauma of waiting to find out a diagnosis from this terrible word.

    Children do grow up fast and you find how well they have grown at times like this and how much they are a comfort to their parents as I am sure yours have been.

    Thank you for pouring your heart out on your blog. I am so glad you have your camera and that you are in the Picture Everyday class with me. Take care and I wish you and your family a very speedy recovery.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Justine, I am sorry to learn you are going through this time of great uncertainty. If good thoughts and prayers count for even the littlest improvement I am adding mine to the bunch. Keep your family close, it can mean so much.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being a believer does not stop the trials that come our way but we have the Lord to comfort us and we turn to Him in prayer. GOD keep you and your family strong in faith and physical strength. GOOD you have family and friends that you can also turn to. WE thank GOD for dr's who have the GOD given skills to be able to remove the cancer and treatment as well.PLEASE keep us informed on how you and Michael are doing; Lifting you and your family up in prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You, sharing this struggle.... Well, this sharing IS a pretty thing. It has filled me with many feelings, of course, to go and hug my loved ones, but that life is a journey of unexpected curves. I think we forget that when the road is straight and narrow. This is a sweet photo - love the sunshine softly coming in and I am so glad the surgeon feels good about the operation!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know that comments in a blog are not the same as being there in person - I wish I could be there just to share the pain and confusion. So sorry to hear this news but hopefully everything will turn out all right in the end. Please continue to give us updates. x

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my goodness...I am so sorry. No pretty things needed. It is the real stuff that keeps people grounded. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Justine, I am so sorry! I wondered why you weren't posting as often. I know there is nothing any of us can do but listen. Please know that you all are in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Justine, I'm so sorry that you and your family must face this challenge! But as you already know, caught early, this is one of the most treatable and curable cancers. Sending prayers and hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my, Justine, I'm so sorry! I'll keep my fingers crossed, everything will be well again soon! Sending hugs!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Justine, my heart tugs for you and your family. I know this is difficult but you said it was caught early and that is a very good sign of things to come. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing so we all can give you support.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Justine, there are no words. I am so sorry you and your family must go through this. I turns your world upside down, I understand. I am keeping you all in my prayers. xo

    ReplyDelete
  12. So sorry for the tragedy of having to face cancer, but very thankful it was caught early. My prayer is that no chemo will be necessary, but if so, peace in knowing you've gone one step more to crush cancer's head. I look back one the last year and realize our family has gone through much hardship, but I'm hoping we're on the other side. Hope your hubby comes home soon and recovers I quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you travel down this difficult path in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  14. A brave post...a sad post.....but a positive post. I have travelled this scary, confusing and lonely path 12 years ago. You have a very practical and positive attitude, you have a loving family and your husband has a very positive prognosis. All will be well but your life will be for ever different; mostly in good ways. Wishing your husband a speedy recovery and you and your family all the very best. Continue to do the things you love. xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Bravo for your strength in this post Justine, even if you don't feel it, sending love and healing thoughts to you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am sad to hear about the cancer but very glad to hear the surgery went so well! Life is indeed full of changes...I have been through too much in the past 2 months... I am sending many healing prayers your way. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  17. My heart goes out to you and your husband.. So happy to hear the surgery went well. Big Hugs and prayers to you and your hubby...

    ReplyDelete
  18. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Justine.
    It is good to hear that the surgery went well.

    ReplyDelete
  19. oh Justine, you have great courage and insight ... I am sending you healing light and energy, and always remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel ... in 1990 My son had a rare type of cancer when he was age 14 and he was given no hope at all, but after 1 year in hospital, many operations and chemo and a transplant he survived and regained his health ... there are lots of survivors today and I am sure your husband will regain his health also .. bless all of you and you will get through this and come out the other side of the tunnel ...prayers and big hugz xooxox

    ReplyDelete
  20. my hubby has been diagnosed with Prostrate cancer 4 weeks ago so here we go again on this journey ... I believe we are all on a journey to evolve our souls and sometimes it is so so difficult , but when we come from our hearts I know it is ok ... bless you and take care xooxox

    ReplyDelete
  21. Justine, I am so sorry to read of this -- we never know what the next day will bring, do we? It sounds like your husband got very good care and is on the road to recovery. Sending prayers and wishing you strength in this difficult time. I am glad that your camera has given you comfort too.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sending love and healing and strength to your family as you move through this difficult time x

    ReplyDelete
  23. Bugger Justine. And just as you were beginning a new chapter in Sydney as well. But the doctors in Australia are good and a meditative summer of rest and healing will hopefully see you (both) right. (this seems to be the most appropriate thing to say, even though as I write this I realise that perhaps the 'bugger' bit might come off not quite right. But really, what else can you say? Wishing you and Michael all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am so sorry to hear this Justine - am sending many good wishes for your husband and all the family's journey back to recovery. What a comforting and also lovely thought to know your camera has brought some solace in this time.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh my gosh Justine! I've been neglecting my blogging for a while now and decided to just do some catching up with everyone...so sorry to hear this has been going on in your life. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. I love that you can find release and comfort through your lens...I do so enjoy sharing with you through Instagrom and blogging. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh Justine. I have just 'met' you at Elevate Everyday. I've been admiring your beautiful pictures and just came over here to see more. I am so sorry that you are living with such sadness but glad that your eye is still capturing beauty during this difficult time.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Justine, I'm late coming here but glad I did. This post gives added meaning to the images I've been seeing on Flickr. Sending thoughts and prayers for health, strength, and peace to you, your husband, and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'm just catching up and this post just took the wind out of me. I'm so sorry to hear this Justine but glad to hear the surgery was a success. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. Big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  29. dear justine, so sorry to know of your husband's illness. for all the disruption in your life. for the toll it has surely taken on your family. sending all love and prayers for fast healing. love, kelly

    ReplyDelete
  30. but life isn't just about pretty things. life is this, too. i am so, so sorry, justine, for what you're going through. my thoughts are with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Your poignant photo does justice to the poignant message of your life's challenge...
    Thinking healthy thoughts for you and your family...

    ReplyDelete
  32. I may be a bit too young to state this Justine, but from what little I have learned, if you really want something out of life, life usually gives it to you... You just need to be positive and maintain that demeanor towards life...

    - Sudipto.

    ReplyDelete

Blog Design by Nudge Media Design | Powered by Blogger